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When asked the top traits desired in a relationship, most people are likely to list humor as one.  Humor is something that seems to speak to the human soul.  People use humor in many different ways, including to help nurture and maintain relationships.  Everyone has encountered someone in their life who can make them laugh and they cherish the person and the relationship for that.  Humor in relationships is a really good factor that can help make a relationship last.

There are many reasons why humor is important to relationships.  The following explains a bit about how humor affects a relationship and the benefits it has.

- Humor can create a bond.  Humor when used correctly can bring people together.  It can make people like each other.  People love having a good time and laughing is associated with a good time.  The body reacts to humor in a way that people associate a humorous person with good feelings.  That is why funny people always seem to have a lot of friends.
- Humor can open up communication.  Just as humor creates a bond between people it also creates a feeling of kinship or trust.  People feel it is easier to talk to someone who is humorous or uses humor often.  Humor used in a constructive manner can really be a great way to improve upon communication in a relationship.
- Humor can change a situation.  Most people have used humor to cover up something embarrassing.  It is common because humor has a way of being able to shift the focus and change the situation. 

Humor is not just a fun weekend night out activity.  Humor can be found in everyday life.  A person who can find humor in anything is someone who is likely to be well liked.  People prefer someone who is happy to someone who is grumpy and funny people just tend to be happy people.

Humor can be used negatively, though.  Negative humor can destroy relationships.  It can create tension and it can be very destructive.  Humor should never be used to belittle someone or to embarrass someone.  Humor should always be upbeat and keep that crazy, funny edge to it. 

Humor in relationships is a great stepping stone.  Many times, though, people find a relationship that is only built on humor fades quickly.  Humor alone cannot sustain a relationship.  A relationship needs other factors in order to grow and last.  Humor in relationships, though, is a great addition and is always welcomed.  Everyone loves a good laugh and by using humor in relationships a person is likely to find they are generally more happy and their relationships are longer lasting then people who leave humor out of their relationships.

What love is and how it really works is a topic up for debate.  Nobody has ever really been able to define love or explain it.  However, love has been dissected enough to be broken down into three stages which can help to explain more about how it works.

Relationships will go through these phases until love is actually materialized.  Each stage plays an important role in shaping the love in a relationship.  What happens during the first two stages is very indicative of how deep and strong the love in the relationship ends up being.

The first stage is lust.  Lust is the part of love that is defined by pure sexual attraction.  Lust is the natural reaction that comes from the desire to mate.  It is the most simple form of love and the most common form of love.  Many people ponder if what they feel is lust or love.  The easiest distinction is that lust is physical, while love is emotional.

Following lust is attraction.  Attraction is a stronger feeling where passion comes in to play.  A person usually knows they are in the attraction stage because they start to feel physical signs.  People in the attraction phase usually have problems thinking rationally; they feel that their partner is perfect without flaws.  Attraction is the getting to know you phase of love where a couple seeks to learn more about this person.

The last stage of love is attachment.  This is the deeply set emotional feelings; it is love.  This is when the reality of the romance is clear and you begin to feel that you would like to be committed to each other.  It is when love is deeply rooted.  The attachment stage is when love is actually realized.  It is the most serious stage as well.

All three stages of love work together to produce love.  It has been shown the stronger the attachment phase the stronger the love ends up being.  So, each stage in its own right is important to producing a strong love.  They each can help explain why we feel certain things when we are falling in love.

It may not be too important when you are going through the process of falling in love, but understanding how each step works helps us to get one step closer to being able to truly define what love is and how it works. 

Love may not be so easy to decipher when it comes to your own relationships.  Love is no doubt something indefinable.  It is one of the strongest feelings human can have.  It is one of the most important feelings humans can have.  Love means so much that we believe in it even though no one can tell us how love works.

Kindness is something that is often forgotten in a relationship.  As we progress in our relationships and get more comfortable with our partners we tend to forget about the simple things that show we really care.  We start to assume we no longer need to show our love and that our partner simply just knows we love them.  Being kind in a relationship can go along way, though. 

Many relationship problems stem from getting too comfortable.  We start to forget about our partner and no longer seek to gain their approval, because we already have it.  This comfort level can lead to some very bad behavior.

We start to forget what respect and kindness can mean to our partner.  We start to take for granted that they will let us slide by without any gesture of love or kindness.  When the kindness goes out of a relationship it opens doors for behaviors that are less then desirable.  This can spell big trouble for a relationship.

Being kind in a relationship is about showing the other person you respect them.  Kindness is something you choose, so it really says something about how you feel about your partner.  Kindness comes form love and so by being kind in a relationship you are also showing love.

Kindness helps people to feel like they are valuable.  It makes them feel cared for and like they really mean something to you. 

Being kind in a relationship means being attentive, supportive, understanding and honored.  It is also protective.  It is a way to keep your partner feeling good and happy. 

Kindness can be shown in many different ways.  It can be shown through words or actions.  It can be how you approach them or how you tackle an issue between you.  It can be something simple like picking up after them or doing something small for them.  Kindness can show through in even the smallest of ways, but its impact can be huge.

Being kind is about thinking kind.  You have to actually work to be kind.  It is not something that really comes naturally.  You have to be very attentive in order to show kindness.  It takes some work, but it well worth it when you consider all it can do for a relationship.

Kindness in a relationship can really help strength the relationship.  It can help make the bond between partners stronger.  It can help to revive love and make the relationship that much better.  Kindness can do many things and it really isn’t that hard to input a little kindness into your interactions with your partner on a daily basis.  You will soon find the many benefits of kindness make it well worth the effort.

There are many ways in which we sabotage our own relationships.  Sometimes we do consciously, but more often it is an unconscious act on our part. Most people want their relationships to work.  When the relationship does not work they wonder why it failed.  Many times the reason a relationship failed is that we were sabotaging it. 

Sabotaging a relationship is something people do everyday.  We do it for many different reasons.  Sometimes we do it as a way of protecting ourselves; sometimes it is related to how we were raised or something that happened in a past relationship.  Whatever the reason, there seems to be ten fatal flaws women make that sabotage their relationships. 

The following outlines the ten fatal flaws you should be on the look out for so you can stop acting that way and have a healthy, happy relationship: 

1. Choosing a partner based on the wrong criteria.  If you always have a set criteria you look for in a man, maybe you are cheating yourself.  You should not judge a man by what he has or doesn’t have, but rather by who he is. 

2. Letting the relationship progress too fast.  When women are caught up in emotions they tend to let things move too quickly.  By becoming too vulnerable too quickly you are opening the door for trouble.  It is better to connect emotionally before letting things go too far. 

3. Getting attached before you really know him.  Women are emotional beings. We tend to let our heart rule our head.  When you become too emotionally attached before getting to know a man then you are putting yourself at risk for ending up heart broken or being stuck in a bad relationship. 

4. Being too clingy.  If you abandon all your friends and all your other
commitments so you can be with him all the time then you are making a major mistake.  Becoming too clingy will defiantly drive him away.  Not to mention that you will be driving away all the other people in your life. 

5. Creating expectations.  One thing women have to understand is that when they get into a relationship with a man they have to accept who he is.  They can’t always be trying to change him to meet their expectations.  If he wasn’t a millionaire when you met him, don’t expect him to become one when you are together. 

6. Allowing problems to build up.  Many times women are content to ignore problems, thinking they will go away.  When you do this you are only building yourself up for a major outburst.  It is always better to handle problems directly and as soon as possible so they do not grow into something that can’t be fixed. 

7. Being fake.  You can not try to be someone you are not just to attract a man.  Once you start off lying your relationship will forever be scarred by that. 

8. Lies.  Lies of any kind are sure relationship killers.  You have to be
honest about everything from the start.  If he can’t accept you as you are then he isn’t the right man for you. 

9. Being too old fashioned.  Some men appreciate a woman with old-fashioned values, but many men still prefer a women who can be independent and who thinks for herself.  Men don’t need a clingy, ditzy woman nor do they want one.  They prefer an intellectual woman who is her own person. 

10.  Expecting your man to be your soul mate.  Many women are on the quest to find that one true love they are meant to be with forever. 

 Many times in this quest a woman passes up men who are wonderful and could be the one, if only they got to know them.  Having this idea of a soul mate can be quite damaging.  It places unreal expectations and strain on a relationship. 

Relationships are very beneficial.  You know how your relationships have helped to mold you into who you are.  You can probably name things you have learned through relationships and valuable things you have taken away form relationships.  Relationships do a lot for us.  There are actually four key reasons for relationships.  They are outlined below. 

1. Lessons.  Relationships help up to learn and to teach others.  Through our relationships, even our earliest with our parents, we learn.  We can learn simple things, like how to walk or talk and we can learn complex things like how to let go or how to love.  The lessons we get from relationships are priceless and may not be learned elsewhere. 

2. Emotional Fulfillment.  Relationships are made up mostly of emotion.  It is through emotion our relationships form and grow.  We learn a lot about emotion and we get a lot of emotional fulfillment from our relationships.  It is through relationships we learn about emotions like love, anger, hope and happiness. 

3. Self Worth.  For most people relationships are part of how they define themselves.  Think about it, many women define themselves as a wife and mother because of their relationships.  Relationships also help us define ourselves because they teach us about ourselves.  They help us to learn our likes and dislikes; about how we react in different situations and about who we are as a person.  The majority of our definition of ourselves comes from the relationships we have had or have in our life. 

4. Love.  Romantic relationships are the means to the goal of finding love.  They are the way to find the one you want to spend your life with and they help us to build our adult lives.  Romantic relationships teach us about love and about how we deal with love.  They teach us what love is and how it feels.  They also teach us the value of love.  Above all romantic relationships are human nature.  They are, at their very basic, about procreating and keeping the human species alive. 

These four reasons for relationships can really define any relationship in your life.  If you really think about it they are all true.  Relationships are more complex than anything else.  The conflicting personalities and the differences in people make relationships fun and exciting and at times stressful.  It is through relationships that we develop.  Without relationships who knows what would happen.  Very few people ever choose a life where they cut off all ties to any other person.  As humans we crave relationships and need them to thrive.  Relationships are important for many reasons, but perhaps the single most important reasons is that relationships make our lives worth living. 

If you’re thinking “My boyfriend is a loser!” here are the top six signs that you are right. 

The first sign that your boyfriend is a loser is if delivers he pizza or has some other “loser” job when he is already in his mid-twenties or older. While there is nothing wrong with a part time or second pizza delivery job to get you through high school or college, or the rough times when your full time job doesn’t weather your temporary financial crisis, someone who, instead of managing or owning the local pizza parlor is one of its drivers is a loser as a boyfriend. 

Your boyfriend is a loser if he uses some minor physical injury, condition or deformity to get himself out of working for a living. This kind of lack of ambition points to a big time loser who will never contribute well to the household finances, and certainly won’t help provide you a fun-filled and financially sound retirement. Lose this loser. 

The third sign that your boyfriend might be a loser is if he threatens to hurt or kill himself if you break up with him. This goes way beyond the concept of “my boyfriend is a loser,” to the concept that “My boyfriend is mentally and emotionally sick.” And, by the way, you are not responsible for this loser boyfriend. If you’re in a position to coax him into therapy do so. If not, say goodbye and stay away. 

Your boyfriend is a loser if he’d rather collect unemployment and wait for that perfect job to come along then take a less-than-perfect but highly respectable position while looking around for the job he really wants. The exception here, of course, is if taking a less desirable job means taking one that is hateful, a big pay cut and leaves no time for the job hunting that you need to do to get back to where you really want to be in your career. The problem with accepting such a job is that you’ve now lost your unemployment benefits and you still don’t have the job that you want. 

You should be thinking, “My boyfriend is a loser” if, while unemployed, or in his off-work hours, he refused to help you with the housework. A boyfriend who thinks that you, the woman, should be doing all the work around the home is definitely a loser. 

You also should be thinking “My boyfriend is a loser” if he always has some excuse that keeps him from meeting your family. Another even more obvious clue is if this loser of a boyfriend objects to your spending time with your family when you could be with him. Of course, we’re talking in moderation here. Still speaking of family, your boyfriend is a loser if he refuses to spend time with or get to know your children. This is not a guy who is going to take any child raising responsibility, care about their safety or happiness, or help you plan for their future. Dump this loser boyfriend. 

These, then, are the primary reasons why you should be telling yourself, “My boyfriend is a loser.” 

Finding your soul mate with online matchmaking services is possible, and, given enough time and patience, it’s probable. Many people have met online and married. It can happen. While there are those online matchmaking services whose focus is strictly sexual, or primarily sexual, and who offer no personality matching or other guidance there are other online places where you should be if you are trying to find your soul mate. 

There are plenty, some of them with noted sterling reputations for success, who take great pains to bring like minded and compatible people together – and who have great success doing so. Let’s take a look at what some of these offer. 

The online matchmaking service we’re looking at has found a soul mate for 400,000 people in the few years it has been in business. That’s some record. This site will allow you to register for just one month, three months, or six months. The longer the commitment the lower the cost, but in any case you’re never going to pay $20 or more for a month of looking for your soul mate here. 

If you are at all concerned about how many matches you might find on this site you don’t need to buy a pig in a poke here. There are 15 million members of this online matchmaking service, all trying to find their soul mate, all with online profiles just waiting for your perusal. You can register for free and wander around and see for yourself. You can search the database to see how many are in your area. You can even choose a few that you find interesting and send them a wink. If they wink back or send you an email at that point you would have to pay the membership fee to continue the conversation and explore finding your soul mate with this online matchmaking service. 

What’s really attractive about this online matchmaking service is that if, by the end of six months of trying and spending your money you haven’t found your soul mate you will be given an additional six months at no charge. That’s how confident the site owners are that you will find that special someone in six months or less. 

This online matchmaking service has also teamed up with a noted psychologist with a nationally syndicated show, who has put together a number of DVDs and other products to guide you in finding your soul mate with online matchmaking services. The site has even included his instructive and therapeutic self-help videos on dating and looking for that special someone. You can also sign up for its VIP online matchmaking service, which acts like a guide to help you determine who and what you are looking for and help you search for and find that soul mate you seek. 

Finding your soul mate with online matchmaking services is practically a given if you choose the right service and have a little patience.  Might this site be match.com?
  

For singles, self confidence is the key to avoiding the partner from hell. Singles must primarily count on themselves to find happiness and protect themselves from predators and partners from hell. 

Unfortunately, for far too many singles, sex equates with being loved and being loved equates with self worth. Too many singles don’t have the strength of character or self esteem to be comfortable with their own opinion of themselves. Self confidence is needed for singles to avoid the partner from hell. Unfortunately, there are singles who all too often invite the partner from hell into their lives because that person shores up their own weakened sense of self worth. 

Singles without self confidence are vulnerable. They are an often trusting, insecure, but good hearted, and so open up their hearts to someone who turns out to be the partner from hell. This happens because, being good themselves, they cannot believe others aren’t as well. Besides, they need love and this partner is offering it. Broken hearts and even broken bones can result from being unaware of the dangers and the warning signs of a partner from hell. The same catastrophes befall those who, because they are singles without self confidence, don’t take the necessary steps, and learn the important tips that they are about to engage the partner from hell. 

Here are some tips for singles on building self confidence and avoiding the partner from hell. 

The first tip is that success breeds more success, while failure tends to breed more failure. The latter does not have to be the case with folks who have abundant drive and self confidence, however. In fact, most self-made millionaires will readily tell you that they went bankrupt or drove their companies into the ground at least once before they got the successful business thing down pat. But with those who lack self confidence one failure, even small, can tear them back down. 

The best thing for singles to do then, is to start small in the self confidence building process. They should determine where their strengths and interests are and pursue some fruitful venture in those arenas. If, for instance, a less than self confident single enjoyed taking pictures with her or his Instamatic camera, she or he might take a local course that teaches how to use a more advanced camera, take some great shots, perhaps even sell them to a local newspaper or periodical, and even set up her or his own dark room. Meeting other singles in the course of this venture would probably ward off the partner from hell, as the single’s ability to excel in this photography class would tend to keep the arrogant and domineering other singles away. 

Now as this new-found photography talent comes to the fore for this single that previously had little self confidence she or he will try other new things, keep advancing towards self confidence and spend less and less time with a potential partner from hell. 

Should you give them another chance when they cheat? The experts answer that question by saying that in general, if you do, they will cheat again, and the relationship won’t last – or you’ll just be left in a relationship where you endure continual cheating. So the answer to “Should you give them another chance?” is, in most cases, a resounding no. 

While many cheaters don’t get caught, most slip up one time and that one time is all it takes for their partner to find out. Most of the time these partners are suspicious but waiting for the “proof.”  The ramifications of being caught are usually pretty earthshaking, because most spouses, especially men, answer no to the question of “should you give them another chance?” Cheating destroys trust, say the experts, and in relationships trust is one of the most, if not the most, important ingredient to a lasting loving life together. 

What’s so discouraging is that relationship experts have determined that three fourths of men cheat on their partner in their committed relationship. What’s even more surprising is that half of the women do too. In other words, most people cheat on their loved and loving partners.  Cheating is one of the most demoralizing and hurtful things anyone can do to their life partner. So deciding if they should give them another chance is also deciding if they should let themselves risk being exposed to that type of hurt and pain all over again. 

Most people opt out of the risk. Most people who are the victims of the cheating partner can’t forgive and forget. They can’t get back to a place of trust and respect. Even those who try to do so, and try to take them back find themselves suspicious all the time, accusatory, angry and not able to resume the love and the trust. Sometimes they can’t resume the sexual relationship. Which exacerbates the chances that the cheating will start again. 

Experts say that a long term relationship can survive one partner’s cheating but it’s not likely that it will. The answer to “Should you give them another chance?” has as much to do with the fact that try as you might it’s just not going to be rekindled as it does with not taking the chance on being cheated on again. 

If you’re going to give them another chance, you should only do so if the cheating was a one-time fling. If it was a long term affair, watch out. Not only has your partner been a clever, manipulative and calculating liar for a very long time, but he or she is not likely to be over that other woman or man, nor is that third party likely to give up without a “fight.” You may be in for a long and painful fight to keep your partner from the lover. And you could very well lose.
  

The basic principles of Christian dating serve as guides for what can be a very confusing experience. Dating, a process of understanding and discovery, is fraught with temptations, while you are taking the first step towards the decision that can shape the rest of your life. The basic principles of Christian dating, then, are a guide to your quest for a spouse. 

The basic Christian dating principles are based on the realization that you are gathering two information sets during the dating and mating process. The first set is about the kind of person you are, and the determination of what you value in life. The second set of factors are those about your longed-for mate – what kind of partner you are looking for, what kind of values she or he should have and so forth. Each person you date helps you determine the qualities you need and want in a partner and helps you learn to respect and love others. 

Here are the basic principles of Christian dating: 

The first Christian dating principle, the most basic one, is that you should not give yourself too much pressure. There is no hard and fast rule about whether you should be in a serious, or not so serious, relationship, with a potential mate at any given age. Those who don’t date in high school are no less normal, no less prepared for finding a partner, and on no worse a schedule for finding the love of their life. When you are ready to find your life’s partner you’ll know. 

The second basic principle of Christian dating is that, while casual dating isn’t prohibited, you should be aware if your date is looking for something casual or more serious minded. If the latter, it’s not right to play with his or her feelings. Those who seek less than totally committed relationships should only date those who feel likewise.  

It’s important as well that you follow another basic principle of Christian dating as you start your search for a lifetime partner. This principle is that you only date other believers. What you don’t want to do is starting dating with the idea that you can partner with someone who is not a believer and convert her or him. You could end up committed to the relationship but your mate not committed to Christ. That could end up causing problems in your relationship. 

Perhaps the most important of the basic principles of Christian dating is that you establish appropriate dating boundaries. Avoiding temptation is the most important principle. Compromising morals can take you away from your Lord instead of closer. 

As much as we don’t want to believe it when we’re young and dating; but our parents had to abide by the basic principles of Christian dating at one time themselves and they’ve learned a few things about choosing the right life partner. Seeking their guidance is a wise decision during your dating time.